


The Disaster Triplets

by FunkyRacoon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Crack, Derek Hale is a Good Boyfriend, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Erica Reyes & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Established Relationship, Humor, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29573610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyRacoon/pseuds/FunkyRacoon
Summary: Derek really wishes his Beta’s would stop getting Stiles drunk for their own amusement. They didn’t have to deal with a handsy Stiles when he got drunk, and boy could that guy talk when he was under the influence.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 16
Kudos: 207





	The Disaster Triplets

**Author's Note:**

> This was just something short and fun I wanted to write, bc I am craving Stiles x Erica x Isaac friendship. Because those three are an absolute disaster true, along with Jackson.

“You can’t keep ganging up on my boyfriend like this.” Derek growls at his two Beta’s.

Erica curls a finger in her hair, “What? We did no such thing. Stiles just wanted to celebrate finishing two of his exams for the semester and wanted to do so with booze. So Isaac and I decided to tag along with him.”

“You can’t get drunk.”

“We were there for emotional support.” Isaac cracks a grin.

Stiles whines where he’s pressed up against Derek’s chest, wrapped around him like a mini octopus.

“Babe, why do you always smell so  _ good _ .” Stiles says, rubbing his face against Derek’s chest. “Like spice and  _ sexy _ old man stuff. Mmmm, sexy.”

Huffing out a puff of air, Derek tightens the arm he has around Stiles’s body before going back to growling at his Beta’s.

“I know you two enjoy hanging out with Stiles, but getting him drunk is not the way to go. He’s human, and he’s Stiles. You know how he is when he's around alcohol.” Just as he finishes his sentence Derek can feel a hand reach around to grab his ass. And give it a squeeze. He sighs, this is going to be a long night.

“Aw come on. He’s adorable when he’s drunk, we tried getting him to dance with us but he kept whining that he wanted his boyfriend.” Erica giggles, watching with amusement and Derek pulls Stiles’s hands off of his ass. “A whole sea of hot men and woman to dance with, and all Stiles wanted to do was go home and be with you. If that’s not live I don’t know what is.”

“Yeah, and he wouldn’t shut up about you. I think he spent ten minutes trying to argue what your eye color was. It was hilarious.” Isaac snorts and Derek growls at them both.

“He’s human. Just because you two can’t get drunk doesn’t mean you have to get him drunk to entertain yourselves.” He snarls, flashing red eyes at the two Beta’s.

“Derek, Der, Derbear.” Stiles tugs on his shirt.

“Yes, love.” 

“Kiss?”

Sighing, Derek cups Stiles’s face and kisses his boyfriends lips, before pressing another to his forehead. Ignoring the little snickers Erica and Isaac make when Stiles whines and paws at his chest.

“Derek.”

“Yes, Stiles.”

“Can we have sex now.”

_ God damnit. _

Erica looks elated at this and Isaac has a grin on his face while Derek feels like he’s stuck between two hard places.

Literally. Seeing as Stiles is rubbing his erection up against Derek’s jean clad thigh.

“Not right now, Stiles. You’re drunk, and I don’t want to have sex while you’re drunk. That would be taking advantage of you, and you know how I feel about that.” Derek says lightly, being careful with his tone so he doesn’t upset Stiles in his tender state.

“Please, it’ll be so much fun! I can do that thing-you what I’m talking about. The thing with my tongue and your ass-“

“Stiles! Enough.” He snaps, feeling his face turn a darker shade of red.

“Ooooh,” Stiles giggles, “I know that tone of voice. That’s your growly  _ Alpha _ voice, hehe, it’s ok Derek. I’ve been a  _ naughty _ boy. Are you gonna spank me, Derek?”

“Stiles, I’m not going to-Stop laughing at him!” He snaps at the two blondes.

“It’s ok, I can just spank you. I know how much you like being on your hands and knees, when I-“

“That’s enough.” Derek throws Stiles over his shoulders, eliciting a yelp from his boyfriend. “You two,  **out** .”

“I live here though!” Isaac pouts.

“Not tonight. You’re sleeping at the McCall’s or on Erica’s couch.” Derek turns and leaves the room, bringing Stiles upstairs so he can put his boyfriend to sleep.

A hand slaps his ass, “No! Bad, Sourwolf! Put me down, you know you’re only allowed to man handle me in the bedroom. I do  _ not _ like being carried around like a princess.”

“Stiles, shut up.” Derek growls and jostles his boyfriend a little to get Stiles to stop slapping his ass.

“Fine. But I’m going to appreciate your ass while I’m down here.” Stiles sounds like a petulant child, and Derek can just visualize the pout his boyfriend has going on right now.

“You do that.” Derek says under his breath.

When they get to their bedroom, Derek gently tosses Stiles down on the bed. He starts the process of stripping Stiles out of his clothes and putting away his keys and phone, while avoiding Stiles’s wandering hands. Stiles pouts when he pushes away his hands while undoing the man’s pants, and then tries to pull Derek down for a kiss. He kisses Stiles and then stands up so he can take his own clothes off.

“Fuck  _ yes _ . This is all I could think about tonight. You, me,  _ naked _ , in our bed.” Stiles sits up and makes granny hands once Derek has kicked his pants off.

“Sleeping.” Derek finishes for him and crawls back onto the bed.

“Fucking.” Stiles responds.

“No. We are going to bed, and then I’m the morning I get to deal with you being hungover. After that, if you’re not feeling like you’ve died and eaten a dead rat, then we can fuck.” Derek tells him, wrapping his arms around Stiles’s squirming body to keep the man in place.

Stiles squirms some more before setting, and then turns his head.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Derek smiles back when Stiles nuzzles his face against Derek’s throat.

“Derek.”

“Hm.”

“Der-Derek.” Stiles goes to pat Derek’s face but because he’s drunk it comes out more of a slap. Grabbing Stiles’s hand, he puts it back down so his boyfriend doesn’t accidentally hit him again.

“You know I love you right? You’re the best. Best boyfriend ever. I’m going to keep you forever.” Stiles rambles drunkenly, and peppers Derek’s beard with kisses, “My boyfriend is so hoooooot. Derek, Derek, Der-there were like  _ so _ many guys and girls there at the club, and Erica wanted to dance but they weren’t you! I just wanna dance with you. And fuck with you. Mmmm, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now get some rest, Stiles.” Derek presses a slow kiss to Stiles’s forehead, and grinned when he hears the tell tale sign of Stiles snoring.

He pets the top of Stiles’s head while Stiles sleeps, nosing at the soft brown hair before going to sleep himself. Knowing that the next day was going to be fun dealing with a hungover Stiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and Comments are loved!!


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